Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
What in the name of NIGGETRY?
-Hay, wut's up? Wut did u do today?
-O, dat's kewl. I did nuthing. Just HW. Wait brb.
..
-OK I'm bak. Sry, I was eating. Da food tasted so good, srsly.
-OK I hav to go. I GTG. TTYL. L8R!
^
^
I felt like some FAG NUTHOLE PIECE OF CRAP writing that right now.
For the sake of proper English, never type like that.
I beg you.
PLEASE save my eyes from the gayness of your typing.
I beg you.
Here, I'll even go over some grammar rules with you.
1) 'You're' is a contraction of 'you are'. WHENEVER YOU USE "YOU'RE," MAKE SURE THE SENTENCE WILL STILL MAKE SENSE IF YOU SUBSTITUTE IT WITH "YOU ARE."
You're gay. You are gay.
See?
NOT,
YOUR GAY.
"YOUR GAY?" NO, THAT IS NOT MY GAY. YOU ARE WRONG.
2) TYPE THE FULL WORD OUT. WHAT THE NIGG IS "SRY", and "SRSLY"?
EVERY WORD NEEDS A VOWEL. GO ADD SOME. YOU'RE NOT COOL FOR TAKING THEM AWAY.
3) NEVER SUBSTITUTE NUMBERS IN WORDS.
"L8R." "G2G." "K3WL."
Must I explain this.
Srsly guyz, plz. Dun look liek a f00l by typin liek dis.
-O, dat's kewl. I did nuthing. Just HW. Wait brb.
..
-OK I'm bak. Sry, I was eating. Da food tasted so good, srsly.
-OK I hav to go. I GTG. TTYL. L8R!
^
^
I felt like some FAG NUTHOLE PIECE OF CRAP writing that right now.
For the sake of proper English, never type like that.
I beg you.
PLEASE save my eyes from the gayness of your typing.
I beg you.
Here, I'll even go over some grammar rules with you.
1) 'You're' is a contraction of 'you are'. WHENEVER YOU USE "YOU'RE," MAKE SURE THE SENTENCE WILL STILL MAKE SENSE IF YOU SUBSTITUTE IT WITH "YOU ARE."
You're gay. You are gay.
See?
NOT,
YOUR GAY.
"YOUR GAY?" NO, THAT IS NOT MY GAY. YOU ARE WRONG.
2) TYPE THE FULL WORD OUT. WHAT THE NIGG IS "SRY", and "SRSLY"?
EVERY WORD NEEDS A VOWEL. GO ADD SOME. YOU'RE NOT COOL FOR TAKING THEM AWAY.
3) NEVER SUBSTITUTE NUMBERS IN WORDS.
"L8R." "G2G." "K3WL."
Must I explain this.
Srsly guyz, plz. Dun look liek a f00l by typin liek dis.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tampon Candy - The only edible PAD ever..PERIOD.
^
^
HAHAHA DO YOU GET IT? LOL!
Anyways, Querida came back from Hong Kong like a week ago, and she gave Elliott and me a little souvenir :).
It was this:
NO, YOUR EYES ARE NOT DECEIVING YOU.
YES, IT IS WHAT IT IS.
IT IS COTTON CANDY MARSHMALLOW..IN THE FORM OF A PAD/TAMPON.
Okay continuing on, so after Elliott and I received our fuggin MAXI PADS from Querida, we just stashed them in his backpack, without a second thought.
Then Querida had a birthday party, so more people came, and we swam, we ate, we played, we celebrated; it was awesome and a fun way to end the summer.
When it ended, Elliott and I went to his house, cause that's where my mom said she'd pick me up. And Elliott's mom started yelling at him cause we stayed at Querida's house for like 12 hours and his mom was wondering what the hell we were doing.
Elliott went to take a dump, and I was waiting for him, watching TV, relaxing. After he finished..his mom told him to go to his room. She followed him in, and shut the door.
I tried to eavesdrop but I couldn't hear anything cause all i heard was CHONG CHING CHANG CHUNG, ya know, THE TAIWANESE LANGUAGE.
After a while, Elliott came out and I was like
WHAT'D SHE DO IN YOUR ROOM?
And he was like,
OMG SHE WAS ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS. LIKE
DID YOU HAVE SEX?
DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
DID YOU MAKE OUT?
AND I WAS LIKE
WHY?
AND HE WAS LIKE
CAUSE....
she said she opened my backpack and found tampons in there. and i had to prove to her that they were fake by eating it -_-.
^
HAHAHA DO YOU GET IT? LOL!
Anyways, Querida came back from Hong Kong like a week ago, and she gave Elliott and me a little souvenir :).
It was this:
NO, YOUR EYES ARE NOT DECEIVING YOU.
YES, IT IS WHAT IT IS.
IT IS COTTON CANDY MARSHMALLOW..IN THE FORM OF A PAD/TAMPON.
Okay continuing on, so after Elliott and I received our fuggin MAXI PADS from Querida, we just stashed them in his backpack, without a second thought.
Then Querida had a birthday party, so more people came, and we swam, we ate, we played, we celebrated; it was awesome and a fun way to end the summer.
When it ended, Elliott and I went to his house, cause that's where my mom said she'd pick me up. And Elliott's mom started yelling at him cause we stayed at Querida's house for like 12 hours and his mom was wondering what the hell we were doing.
Elliott went to take a dump, and I was waiting for him, watching TV, relaxing. After he finished..his mom told him to go to his room. She followed him in, and shut the door.
I tried to eavesdrop but I couldn't hear anything cause all i heard was CHONG CHING CHANG CHUNG, ya know, THE TAIWANESE LANGUAGE.
After a while, Elliott came out and I was like
WHAT'D SHE DO IN YOUR ROOM?
And he was like,
OMG SHE WAS ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS. LIKE
DID YOU HAVE SEX?
DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
DID YOU MAKE OUT?
AND I WAS LIKE
WHY?
AND HE WAS LIKE
CAUSE....
she said she opened my backpack and found tampons in there. and i had to prove to her that they were fake by eating it -_-.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
BA-RAH-BAH-BAH-BAHH, I'M LUVIN' IT! The McDonald's Experience.
Story time. First time in McDonald's in 2 years!
I hated Hated HATED McDonald's with a BURING PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!
I DISLIKED IT!
I DESPISED IT!!
I ABHORRED IT!!!
I've read all about the shadiness behind its food.
I've seen the documentary on Supersize Me.
I've eaten the 700+ caloric beast known as the BIGMAC.
I've smelt the GREASE literally hanging in the air as I walked into the place!
I can't lie, MCDONALD'S IS UNHEALTHY! Hell, even their SALAD IS LIKE 500 CALORIES! Let me tell you, that ain't no "LIGHT" SALAD that they're selling.
Day after day, I'd pass by McDonald's and look in disgust at the people eating there.
Day after day, I'd think, "Look at those PIGS! FEASTING ON CHEMICALLY PRODUCED PIECES OF GARBAGE!"
Day after day, I'd wonder why ANYONE would even ENTER THAT LETHAL RESTAURANT, DESTINED TO CAUSE HEALTH PROBLEMS!
I'D VOW TO MYSELF, "NEVER WILL I EAT THERE! THE SATAN OF HEALTH! THE KING OF HEART ATTACKS! THE ALLEGORY OF FILTHY CRAP!"
But day after day, I'd become more curious.
WHY would people spend their HARD EARNED money on such FOODS!?
WHY would people waste their time to go to such a place!?
WHY would people eat that GARBAGE!?
WHY OH WHY!?
And then youknowwhathappened?
I opened the glass door.
I took
a step inside.
I gazed around.
People in ALL SORTS OF SIZES
eating to their desire!
I walked
up
to
the
counter
"Can I have a Happy Meal?"
Sure.
My fate was sealed.
First, I opened the colorful box!
I carefully took out the fries.
One.
Two.
Three.
Ten!
Oh so steamy, oh so crispy, oh so golden, oh so soft on the inside, oh so much joy and pleasure!
The fries disappeared much too fast :(.
Next, the cheeseburger.
I opened my mouth
One
Bite
Two Bite
ThreeBite
FOURBITE
FIVEBITE!
So delicious! So crunchy pickles! So mouthwatering meat! So..quickly gone :(.
Drink.
Such a refeshing way to help the meal flow smoothly.
Cool.
Quench.
Perfect.
I stood up,
time to throw away the tray!
WAIT!
WHAT THE!?
IT'S A TOY!
Boom. Perfect. Just when you think the meal couldn't get any better, the toy, the simple piece of plastic, APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE AND BRINGS SO MUCH HAPPINESS!
WONDERFUL! FANTASTIC!
SUPERB! AWESOME! SPLENDID!
JOYOUS! HAPPY!
Finally.
Ice cream.
So smooth. So RICH. SO VANILLA!
OMJ, such a SENSATION OF FLAVORS IN YOUR MOUTH, CONTROLLING THE EVERY WHIM OF YOUR TASTEBUDS, DEMANDING ATTENTION FROM YOUR MOUTH AND BLENDING A FANTASMIC OF A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT FOODS INTO YOUR SENSES!
THE ANGEL OF HAPPINESS! THE KING OF JOY! THE OMEGA OF AMAZING SENSATIONS!
I hated Hated HATED McDonald's with a BURING PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!
I DISLIKED IT!
I DESPISED IT!!
I ABHORRED IT!!!
I've read all about the shadiness behind its food.
I've seen the documentary on Supersize Me.
I've eaten the 700+ caloric beast known as the BIGMAC.
I've smelt the GREASE literally hanging in the air as I walked into the place!
I can't lie, MCDONALD'S IS UNHEALTHY! Hell, even their SALAD IS LIKE 500 CALORIES! Let me tell you, that ain't no "LIGHT" SALAD that they're selling.
Day after day, I'd pass by McDonald's and look in disgust at the people eating there.
Day after day, I'd think, "Look at those PIGS! FEASTING ON CHEMICALLY PRODUCED PIECES OF GARBAGE!"
Day after day, I'd wonder why ANYONE would even ENTER THAT LETHAL RESTAURANT, DESTINED TO CAUSE HEALTH PROBLEMS!
I'D VOW TO MYSELF, "NEVER WILL I EAT THERE! THE SATAN OF HEALTH! THE KING OF HEART ATTACKS! THE ALLEGORY OF FILTHY CRAP!"
But day after day, I'd become more curious.
WHY would people spend their HARD EARNED money on such FOODS!?
WHY would people waste their time to go to such a place!?
WHY would people eat that GARBAGE!?
WHY OH WHY!?
And then youknowwhathappened?
I opened the glass door.
I took
a step inside.
I gazed around.
People in ALL SORTS OF SIZES
eating to their desire!
I walked
up
to
the
counter
"Can I have a Happy Meal?"
Sure.
My fate was sealed.
First, I opened the colorful box!
I carefully took out the fries.
One.
Two.
Three.
Ten!
Oh so steamy, oh so crispy, oh so golden, oh so soft on the inside, oh so much joy and pleasure!
The fries disappeared much too fast :(.
Next, the cheeseburger.
I opened my mouth
One
Bite
Two Bite
ThreeBite
FOURBITE
FIVEBITE!
So delicious! So crunchy pickles! So mouthwatering meat! So..quickly gone :(.
Drink.
Such a refeshing way to help the meal flow smoothly.
Cool.
Quench.
Perfect.
I stood up,
time to throw away the tray!
WAIT!
WHAT THE!?
IT'S A TOY!
Boom. Perfect. Just when you think the meal couldn't get any better, the toy, the simple piece of plastic, APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE AND BRINGS SO MUCH HAPPINESS!
WONDERFUL! FANTASTIC!
SUPERB! AWESOME! SPLENDID!
JOYOUS! HAPPY!
Finally.
Ice cream.
So smooth. So RICH. SO VANILLA!
OMJ, such a SENSATION OF FLAVORS IN YOUR MOUTH, CONTROLLING THE EVERY WHIM OF YOUR TASTEBUDS, DEMANDING ATTENTION FROM YOUR MOUTH AND BLENDING A FANTASMIC OF A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT FOODS INTO YOUR SENSES!
THE ANGEL OF HAPPINESS! THE KING OF JOY! THE OMEGA OF AMAZING SENSATIONS!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Geodudes.
I hate talking to boring people!
It bores me.
I hate being bored!
Boredom sucks.
youknowwhatimean.!?
Rock: Hi.
Paul: why hello there!
Rock: Sup?
Paul: mm just relaxing and enjoying life! you?
Rock: Nothing.
Paul: ahh but youre talking to me, isnt that a SPECIAL EVENT? ;p.
Rock: I guess.
Paul: oh...okay..? so how was your day?
Rock: Good.
Paul: i see..uhh I GTG DO SOMETHING TTYL!
Rock: Bye.
GAHH JUST TYPING THAT MADE ME WANNA STAB MY CHINKY LITTLE ASIAN EYES WITH SHARP SHARP KNIVES! OH THE HORROR! THE HUMANITY! THE BOREDOM!
Can you be a little more exciting!?
Can you be a little more charismatic!?
Can you SHOW ME SOME LIFE YOU PATHETIC LITTLE ROCK?
CAN YOU BE A TAD BIT MORE INTERESTING!?
I try my best to keep every convo when I talk, but when it's with a boring person, it's hopeless. It's like trying to PUT OUT fire with oil. I'm just feeding the flames for more boredom by keeping the convo going.
There are 24 hours in a day.
My 24 hours are divided into something like this:
8 hours to sleep.
12 hours to go to events/do stuff/whatever/etc/lalala.
4 hours to talk to people.
I ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS TO TALK TO MY FRIENDS.
I DONT WANNA SPEND MY 4 HOURS TALKING TO A ROCK.
I WANNA TALK TO MY FRIENDS.
NOT ROCKS.
I DONT LIKE TALKING TO ROCKS.
Boring people dont have a lot of friends. Nobody wants to be friends with rocks. If youre reading this and youre boring, you probably dont have alot of friends! But have no fear, paulrhee is here!
2 Ways To Be Interesting
1. ASK INTERESTING QUESTIONS!
ASK DEEP, COMPLEX QUESTIONS! QUESTIONS THAT CAN'T BE ANSWERED WITH A SIMPLE 'YES' OR 'NO'! BE MAGICAL!
Paul: I'm bored noww.
Rock: If you could go anywhere exotic in this world, where would it be!?
2. GIVE INTERESTING ANSWERS!
GIVE WEIRD RETARDED ANSWERS! DIFFERENT ANSWERS! CREATIVE ANSWERS! WITTY ANSWERS! MIX IT UP!
Paul: So what's up!?
Rock: mm well i see a fan and my roof but thats about it.
Just 2 steps! 2 STEPS TO BECOME LESS BORING! Take an ordinary scenario, and think INSIDE, OVER, UNDER, BEHIND, IN FRONT OF, BETWEEN, SIDE TO SIDE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUTSIDE THE BOX!
All in all, if you are a Geodude-like person, please evolve to a Golem and use Selfdestruct.
EDIT:
BIG STICK BIG STICK BIG STICK BIG STICK!
"I had this awesome rock fun conversation with David"
British invasion!
Theodore Roosvelt!
/EDIT.
It bores me.
I hate being bored!
Boredom sucks.
youknowwhatimean.!?
Rock: Hi.
Paul: why hello there!
Rock: Sup?
Paul: mm just relaxing and enjoying life! you?
Rock: Nothing.
Paul: ahh but youre talking to me, isnt that a SPECIAL EVENT? ;p.
Rock: I guess.
Paul: oh...okay..? so how was your day?
Rock: Good.
Paul: i see..uhh I GTG DO SOMETHING TTYL!
Rock: Bye.
GAHH JUST TYPING THAT MADE ME WANNA STAB MY CHINKY LITTLE ASIAN EYES WITH SHARP SHARP KNIVES! OH THE HORROR! THE HUMANITY! THE BOREDOM!
Can you be a little more exciting!?
Can you be a little more charismatic!?
Can you SHOW ME SOME LIFE YOU PATHETIC LITTLE ROCK?
CAN YOU BE A TAD BIT MORE INTERESTING!?
I try my best to keep every convo when I talk, but when it's with a boring person, it's hopeless. It's like trying to PUT OUT fire with oil. I'm just feeding the flames for more boredom by keeping the convo going.
There are 24 hours in a day.
My 24 hours are divided into something like this:
8 hours to sleep.
12 hours to go to events/do stuff/whatever/etc/lalala.
4 hours to talk to people.
I ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS TO TALK TO MY FRIENDS.
I DONT WANNA SPEND MY 4 HOURS TALKING TO A ROCK.
I WANNA TALK TO MY FRIENDS.
NOT ROCKS.
I DONT LIKE TALKING TO ROCKS.
Boring people dont have a lot of friends. Nobody wants to be friends with rocks. If youre reading this and youre boring, you probably dont have alot of friends! But have no fear, paulrhee is here!
2 Ways To Be Interesting
1. ASK INTERESTING QUESTIONS!
ASK DEEP, COMPLEX QUESTIONS! QUESTIONS THAT CAN'T BE ANSWERED WITH A SIMPLE 'YES' OR 'NO'! BE MAGICAL!
Paul: I'm bored noww.
Rock: If you could go anywhere exotic in this world, where would it be!?
2. GIVE INTERESTING ANSWERS!
GIVE WEIRD RETARDED ANSWERS! DIFFERENT ANSWERS! CREATIVE ANSWERS! WITTY ANSWERS! MIX IT UP!
Paul: So what's up!?
Rock: mm well i see a fan and my roof but thats about it.
Just 2 steps! 2 STEPS TO BECOME LESS BORING! Take an ordinary scenario, and think INSIDE, OVER, UNDER, BEHIND, IN FRONT OF, BETWEEN, SIDE TO SIDE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUTSIDE THE BOX!
All in all, if you are a Geodude-like person, please evolve to a Golem and use Selfdestruct.
EDIT:
BIG STICK BIG STICK BIG STICK BIG STICK!
"I had this awesome rock fun conversation with David"
British invasion!
Theodore Roosvelt!
/EDIT.
Monday, March 2, 2009
HAHAHAHA! There are different levels of...
laughter!! C'MON, DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!! FOR ME, IT'S LIKE:
Level 1-Tiny Laugh.
If someone tells me a joke that's SUPER LAME, I DO..."THE TINY LAUGH." It's more of a cough or guffaw or whatever you call it. Just one short "HAH!"
And thenn Level 2-Semi-Laugh.
I LAUGH LIKE THIS WHEN THE JOKE IS TOTALLY OUT OF RANDOM. WHEN SOMEBODY BURNS ANOTHER PERSON OUT OF NOWHERE, OR SOMETHING RANDOM-ASS IS SAID IN CLASS. I freaking make this weird "HAW-HAW" sound that's super high-pitched and loud -_-, so embarassing.
Level 3-Normal Laugh.
HAHAHAHA a normal laugh :D.
Level 4-Verbal Laughter.
This is for truly funny things, like PINEAPPLE EXPRESS or random funny moments. I laugh so loudly and it's SO DEEPLY TOO. LOL AND I START SAYING "WOW" OR "DUDEE" IN BETWEEN MY LAUGHTER.
LEVEL 5- LOL-GASMIC!!
HOLY CRAP I HATE THESE MOMENTS AND I LOVE THEM. WHEN YOU START LAUGHING AND YOU CAN'T STOP NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT TRIES TO STOP YOU. Okay this one guy in my class (I won't reveal his name because people reading this may know him) ALWAYS MUMBLES and speaks IN A WEIRD ASS ACCENT.
AND HIS VOICE CRACKS AND HE DRAGS OUT CERTAIN WORDS. OMFG WHENEVER HE GOES TO PRESENT IN CLASS, I HAVE A LOL-GASM. I start laughing and I can't freaking stop so I have to put my head on the desk to muffle my laughter so teacher won't hear. AND then other people start laughing and none of us stop until he stops talking.
I also had a LOL-gasm when I was about to scare my sister with the maze prank which you can find here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp-6Wx7nfTc
IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY, IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M SPAZZING OUT DUDE. OMG I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD..until I got scared myself -_-.
Yeah. Laughing is fun. It's like fingerprints; no two people have the same laughs XD.
Level 1-Tiny Laugh.
If someone tells me a joke that's SUPER LAME, I DO..."THE TINY LAUGH." It's more of a cough or guffaw or whatever you call it. Just one short "HAH!"
And thenn Level 2-Semi-Laugh.
I LAUGH LIKE THIS WHEN THE JOKE IS TOTALLY OUT OF RANDOM. WHEN SOMEBODY BURNS ANOTHER PERSON OUT OF NOWHERE, OR SOMETHING RANDOM-ASS IS SAID IN CLASS. I freaking make this weird "HAW-HAW" sound that's super high-pitched and loud -_-, so embarassing.
Level 3-Normal Laugh.
HAHAHAHA a normal laugh :D.
Level 4-Verbal Laughter.
This is for truly funny things, like PINEAPPLE EXPRESS or random funny moments. I laugh so loudly and it's SO DEEPLY TOO. LOL AND I START SAYING "WOW" OR "DUDEE" IN BETWEEN MY LAUGHTER.
LEVEL 5- LOL-GASMIC!!
HOLY CRAP I HATE THESE MOMENTS AND I LOVE THEM. WHEN YOU START LAUGHING AND YOU CAN'T STOP NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT TRIES TO STOP YOU. Okay this one guy in my class (I won't reveal his name because people reading this may know him) ALWAYS MUMBLES and speaks IN A WEIRD ASS ACCENT.
AND HIS VOICE CRACKS AND HE DRAGS OUT CERTAIN WORDS. OMFG WHENEVER HE GOES TO PRESENT IN CLASS, I HAVE A LOL-GASM. I start laughing and I can't freaking stop so I have to put my head on the desk to muffle my laughter so teacher won't hear. AND then other people start laughing and none of us stop until he stops talking.
I also had a LOL-gasm when I was about to scare my sister with the maze prank which you can find here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp-6Wx7nfTc
IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY, IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M SPAZZING OUT DUDE. OMG I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD..until I got scared myself -_-.
Yeah. Laughing is fun. It's like fingerprints; no two people have the same laughs XD.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Hey! Is your mind...
innocent?
Yolanda was an innocent, 7 year-old girl. Wally was a single, 35 year-old man. One day, Yolanda told Wally that her body was experiencing problems. Wally grinned and invited her into his apartment, assuring her that he'd 'fix her up.'
He told her to get on the bed and she did. Then...they began. He started it nice and easy, very gently. However, as time ticked on, he gradually began using full force. He told her to open and she did. It wasn't wide enough so he demanded that she open wider and she did as far as she could go.
Wally restarted again and tried harder and harder. Soon, Yolanda began bleeding and she begged Wally to stop. She couldn't handle the pain, after all, she was just a child.
Wally said he was in control and that it would be over soon.
AND BEHOLD!! He finished and Yolanda thanked him, leaving his apartment.
He just finished taking out Yolanda's first tooth.
That was so random O.O....
Yolanda was an innocent, 7 year-old girl. Wally was a single, 35 year-old man. One day, Yolanda told Wally that her body was experiencing problems. Wally grinned and invited her into his apartment, assuring her that he'd 'fix her up.'
He told her to get on the bed and she did. Then...they began. He started it nice and easy, very gently. However, as time ticked on, he gradually began using full force. He told her to open and she did. It wasn't wide enough so he demanded that she open wider and she did as far as she could go.
Wally restarted again and tried harder and harder. Soon, Yolanda began bleeding and she begged Wally to stop. She couldn't handle the pain, after all, she was just a child.
Wally said he was in control and that it would be over soon.
AND BEHOLD!! He finished and Yolanda thanked him, leaving his apartment.
He just finished taking out Yolanda's first tooth.
That was so random O.O....
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